Sean Young To Battle Awards Ceremony Heckling Demons In Rehab
With news spreading of Sean Young's Schnabel-shushing shenanigans at Saturday night's DGA awards—a story you may have first read about here on Sunday, and that has now achieved critical mass thanks to...
View ArticleRush Describes the Miracle of His Immaculate Heart Attack, Says He's Not on...
Mere hours after we asked whether Rush's hospitalization means he's hitting the pill bottle again, an energetic Limbaugh took to the small screen to announce that he is healthy as an ox, and no, he is...
View ArticleWall Street Firms Staff Up in Anticipation of the Next Push to Destroy the...
Yes, the private sector axed another 23,000 jobs this month, but don't worry because Wall Street is hiring again! According to Time, 75% of Wall Street firms intend to put new college grads on the...
View ArticleAddicted: Drugs Will Keep Us Together
Addicted's finale traced the recoveries of a couple brought together and ripped apart by shared heroin and cocaine addictions. Annie and Mike have lost their reasons to live and will die together,...
View ArticleIs New York Too Cold For Sobriety?
Passages, the celeb-friendly drug and alcohol rehab center whose Malibu facility charges nearly $90,000 per month, is considering opening a facility in the Hamptons—a fifth of their patients are from...
View ArticleStock Market Closes at Highest Since 2008
The U.S. stock market closed at its highest levels in two years! You still don't have a job, though. More »
View ArticleGabrielle Giffords Is Speaking
Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, who's doing rehab in Texas after being shot in the head last month, asked for toast this morning! And while these weren't her first words, her office confirms that...
View ArticleCharlie Sheen Is Ready to Go Back to Work, Damn It
Charlie Sheen, currently the only patient at the Charlie Sheen Celebrity Rehab Center located in Charlie Sheen's House, has decided he's ready to go back to making America's most popular sitcom Two...
View ArticleJobless Claims at Lowest Level in Three Years
Some good economic news, everyone: New jobless claims dropped by 20,000 to 368,000 last week, the lowest it's been since March 2008. We're rich and prosperous again, America. Treat yourself to a...
View ArticleGabrielle Giffords to Attend Next Month's Shuttle Launch
It looks like Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is going to attend the launch of the space shuttle mission commanded by her husband, astronaut Mark Kelly, this month. Giffords hasn't been seen in public since...
View ArticleGabby Giffords En Route to Husband's Shuttle Launch
Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is making her first public outing since being shot in the head in Tucson this January. She boarded a NASA jet in Houston today that's flying to Florida's Kennedy Space Center,...
View ArticleGiffords Soon to Enter Outpatient Therapy, Might Not Run Again
Almost six months after being shot outside a Tucson supermarket by gunman Jared Lee Loughner, Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords is almost ready to leave the Houston rehab facility where she's...
View ArticleFirst Photos of Gabrielle Giffords Since Shooting Released
New photos of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D - Ariz.)—the first to be publicly released since she was shot in the head in January—were published on her Facebook page by her staff on Sunday. In one, the...
View ArticleStocks Falling All Over the World
Stocks opened "sharply lower" in Europe on Friday, following "heavy selling" in Asia. Just in time for the U.S. job numbers! You know what I'd buy stock in, if I could? Pictures of traders looking...
View ArticleAwesome Recovery Indistinguishable From Awful Recession
Remember the recession? Whew. That was terrible. Thank god that we're now more than two years into America's technical economic "recovery." How are you celebrating the recovery? Wait, don't tell me. I...
View ArticleChimp Attack Victim: I Can Smile Again
Charla Nash is still recovering from the 2009 chimp attack that left her without a face, but in an interview with The Hartford Courant she announced that, three years later, her recovery is going...
View ArticleFlesh-Eating Bacteria Victim Will Return Home to Continue Recovery
Aimee Copeland, the Georgia Master's student who found herself plagued by necrotizing fasciitis following a zip line accident, is heading home from the hospital soon. This is great news, especially...
View ArticleSean Young To Battle Awards Ceremony Heckling Demons In Rehab
With news spreading of Sean Young's Schnabel-shushing shenanigans at Saturday night's DGA awards—a story you may have first read about here on Sunday, and that has now achieved critical mass thanks to...
View ArticleRush Describes the Miracle of His Immaculate Heart Attack, Says He's Not on...
Mere hours after we asked whether Rush's hospitalization means he's hitting the pill bottle again, an energetic Limbaugh took to the small screen to announce that he is healthy as an ox, and no, he is...
View ArticleWall Street Firms Staff Up in Anticipation of the Next Push to Destroy the...
Yes, the private sector axed another 23,000 jobs this month, but don't worry because Wall Street is hiring again! According to Time, 75% of Wall Street firms intend to put new college grads on the...
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